I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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