You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
