Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
