Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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