why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i out mim tonsoeep
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
