I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
