i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
