I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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