And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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