I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
