i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
