she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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