the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
