its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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