my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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