i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
