my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
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How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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