So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
