ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
