Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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