ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
worst night to have a conscience
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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