idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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