ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
