Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
