I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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