i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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