I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
