apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
