It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
