My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
