Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
