weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
