You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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