I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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