They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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