Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
