Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Terrible idea I love it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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