i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
