The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
