Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
