forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
