My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
