I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
