I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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