Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I need a beard to bite.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
