dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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