Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
