Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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