Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
