i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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