I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
