They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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