I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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