Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
