If that was your dad, he is hot
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
