Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
