watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
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Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
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He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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