I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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