"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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