We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize