My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Duck Duck Cougar?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
