Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Its about making memories worth repressing
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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