well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
