i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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