He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
