Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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